I have been kicking myself for not posting more frequently and I realized that I've been 1) too hard on myself and 2) making things too personal. I find that raw blog posts are the best kind to read, but they take a lottttt of emotional energy to write. Right now, I don't have that kind of energy. I also know that it can be overwhelming to continually read raw posts every week, so it is just as well that I don't spill my soul all the time on this little slice of the internet.
But I will share this tidbit with you all:
"And the LORD will continually guide you, And satisfy your desire in scorched places, And give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail. - Isaiah 58:11
My life is like a garden. A garden must be cultivated and nourished; it must be worked over but also delighted in. Every garden has its weeds. A regular weeding is normal, but I can't let the weeds overtake the roots of truth in my life. A garden must be watered, not too much to drown the new life growing in it, but not too little as to leave that life dry and yearning.
Just as a garden is sustaining and meaningful to life, so too should life be sustaining and meaningful.
These are tidbits of thoughts that I have jotted down in the memo section of my cell phone. Thoughts on sustainability, truth, purpose, meaning, desires, nourishment.
I am at a unique place in my life where new problems are overtaking old problems, but also bring new meaning and truth to those same old problems. For example, I've found a marked decrease in my temper. I've realized, through my chronic fatigue, that there is simply not enough energy to get angry any more. As a result, I'm a much happier, more peaceful person (and wife). Being too tired to care has its blessings. But I still have to work to nourish and weed my garden.
A weed that I have had the hardest time killing is fear. I can trace the fear in my life since I was little. Being too tired to care has helped cut back on the fear, but its still there, lingering. So I was reminded, and encouraged, to pursue courage recently.
Courage looks like a lot of things, but for me, courage is not caring, exploring, trying new things, being unapologetic, and reaching out to everyone I meet. Courage is a big step forward and it will help my garden grow taller and deeper. Moving forward, I plan on watering and nourishing my garden with courage and cultivating my garden with truth and steadfastness.
Wanna know what else my new courage will help me do? BLOG MORE :P
Thanks for all of your love and support y'all. Cheers to new beginnings!
P.S. I have taken up a new hobby as a succulent farmer (lol) and I'm OBSESSED with my little plant babies. I've propagated a few and its addicting :D If you have succulents, have tips on growing them, or just love to look at them like I do, comment below!